Ch. 22: I Just Can’t Wait to be KingJune 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm | Posted in Generation 6 | 16 Comments
Previous: I See the Light
John: “OH, MY LOVE! When you left, I lost part of me…”
I know, I know. But now I’m back and updating faster than ever!
John: “Not you. Pocahontas is with us NO MORE :(“
Translation: Pocahontas = Deader than a deer crossing the turnpike.
John isn’t taking it well.
John: “My wife just died. Give me the strongest thing you have.”
Bartender: “Strongest? Sir, all of our drinks are alcohol-free to abide with the game’s “T for Teens +” rating. :D”
John: “Well then, I guess it’s a good thing that all of Poca’s belongings went to me when she died ’cause now I have all of her booze in my inventory.”
John: “Pinkie’s up, bitch.”
I have a terrible feeling that John’s going to be a miserable drunk.
At least he stopped crying.
John: “Wooooooooohoooooooooooooo!! Daddy’s a free man now, bitches!”
Oh dear. I was wrong.
John: “Come ‘ere an’ get sssome.”
Horribly, horribly wrong.
Bartender: “I’ve got some friends out back that can take care of him.”
Don’t worry about it. He’s just a drunk idiot. Completely harmless.
John: *Pelvic thrusts*
BACK AT HOME:
Peter: (Completely oblivious to the death of his grandmother in a nasty dive bar) “YAY IT’S MY BIRTHDAYYYYY”
Peter: “Clap for me.“
This is seriously the only time he’s ever been happy.
Peter: “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!! WHERE IS EVERYONE? EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY LIKE MEEEEEEEEE”
You hear that, Ariel? You should be celebrating the birthday of YOUR WONDERFUL LITTLE BROTHER*
*Awful ankle-biting asshole
Ariel: “Look at all the fucks I give.”
Simba, don’t you care that it’s your only son’s birthday?
Simba: “Maybe I’ll start caring once I get rid of this mourning moodlet for that stupid druggie whore.”
Respect the dead much?
Simba: “Oh, don’t act like you care. Besides, ‘Stupid druggie whore’ is actually the highest of compliments.”
Hiring a hitman.
Simba: “Hey bb. Wanna see why they call me ‘King of the Jungle'”
Nala: “LOL K”
Man, I did not think that pick-up line would work.
Tweedledee: “Hey, you wanna see why they call me ‘King of-“
Robot: “I’ve heard it before.”
Nala: “What the FUCK. Pregnant? Again?!”
This is the last time. I swear.
Nala: “You’re only doing this to me because I have the ‘Dislikes Children’ trait.”
Simba: “Good job! You’ve just learned how to play an instrument. Now all you have to do is learn how to paint, read, mop, polish, wax, knit, sew, climb, cook, bake; In addition to learning how to do paper mache, ballet, laundry, ventriloquy, and puzzles, and play chess, and make pottery and candles. All of this should be accomplished by your 18th birthday, at which time you’ll be let out of solitary confinement to see the lights.”
Rapunzel: “:D ?”
Be a little more overbearing, Simba.
Simba: “There needs to be more order in this household, and the King of the Jungle is just the guy to do it.”
Things aren’t that bad around here…
Simba: “So, how’s that broken shower getting along?”
Simba: “See what I mean?”
Peter: “Holy SCHNIKES. I’m going to vomit this food all over the clean floor if that stack of dirty plates is not removed from the table.”
All you do is complain. Could you at least try being happy?
Peter: “It’s a stack of dirty plates! Right in front of where I’m eating! If you were in my shoes, you’d be complaining, too.”
You know what? You should be grateful that you have a stack of dirty plates right in front of you, because that means that a good meal was once served on those plates. Starving children in Africa would kill to be in your shoes right now.
Speaking of Africans…
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
STOP PUTTING SHIT ALL OVER MY HOUSE
Butler: “This is me rebelling against you.”
Rebelling? I give you a roof over your head, and you’re rebelling against me?
Butler: “I live in the attic of the dead vampire’s lair with only a crappy bed to call my own. I’m practically a slave.”
Woah. Don’t be claiming hate crimes… That shit takes years and expensive legal fees to sort out.
Whatever. You want to be treated more like family? Fine. Help Peter with his homework.
Butler: “And the slaves had to do whatever their masters told them to do, no matter how grueling the work, otherwise they would be severely punished.”
Peter: “I thought you said slavery was abolished in 1865?”
Butler: “It was.”
Peter: “But… that sounds a lot like what you do here.”
Don’t go all humanitarian on me now Peter.
Simba: “I pay a repairman 50 bucks to do his job, and what does he do instead? Eat my damn pancakes at my own damn table right in front of me.”
Speaking of… how’s that “getting more order around here” thing going?
Simba: “Fuck you.”
Nala: “SIMBA! The shower is broken again!”
BREAKING NEWS: Old man killed from accidentally impaling his head with a cello while playing
John: “What are you looking at?”
You kind of have a cello stabbing you in the head, babe.
John: “Oh this? But I do this all the time while playing. Gets me in the mood.”
Grimdiana Jones: “John Liddell, I told you that if you do any more of this cello-stabbing-head-to-play business, then you’re coming with me. You’re lucky that I even let you get away with it for this long. Any one else, and they would have been dead before they could even play a note.”
Always been true in my experience.
John: “B-b-but… I’m too young to die!”
Dude. You’re like 110 days old. Get out of here.
John: “Please! Don’t take me with you! I’ll do whatever you want!”
Grimdiana Jones: “Like what?”
John: “I’ll exchange sexual favors for my life!”
John, please! Ariel is standing RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.
John: “I DUN WUNNA DIEEEEE”
Grimdiana Jones: “Alright, enough. Let’s go, old man.”
R.I.P. Generation 4.
You were… entertaining.
Interpret that however you wish.
Looks like Drizella has just died, too.
Dear God, what is with all of these sniveling spouses?
Nala: “BABY PAINS”
Next to the toilet.
Simba: “Whelp, since Mama is going into labor, I guess I’m going to have to be the one that teaches you how to cook.”
She’s barely three. Calm down.
Simba: “She grows up today. I’m just giving her a head start.”
OH HELL YES
I’m actually not excited at all.
Nala: “You should have seen it coming. I am a twin, after all.”
I didn’t think the developers of this game went that in-depth with genetics.
Anyways, Little Shit #1’s name is Aladdin.
And #2 is Belle!
I’ve never had different-gendered twins before. Quite frankly, I didn’t think it was possible. :O
Rapunzel, you are far too young to be risking your life at the inventor’s bench!
Rapunzel: “Daddy said that he wouldn’t love me unless I made him a robot before my eighteenth birthday.”
Oh… Well, yeah, neither will I or the rest of your family. Get back to work.
Butler: “OH, JOHN! My dear, dear friend, how I mourn you so. This horrible family is so undeserving of you. I cannot bear to be around them any longer. I must leave for I cannot stand to be around people who taint your memory…”
Ariel: “Will someone please stuff a jellyfish down his throat?”
Rapunzel: “Yeah… and turn off the lights on your way out, will ya?”
Next: Mother Knows Best
WOOHOOO another chapter done and out of the way.
I have not played the Liddell’s since installing Generations. I’m holding out until I’m finished with all of the pictures I currently have, so I’m thinking I’ll get one more chapter done and then I’ll start playing them again.
I plan on getting that chapter up soon cause I really want to play them. I never thought I’d be saying this, but I kind of miss these guys.