Ch. 18: Cinderelly, Cinderelly

December 31, 2010 at 2:20 am | Posted in Generation 5 | 2 Comments

Previous: Listen With Your Heart

Hello hello hellooooo! :)

I hope all of you had a great holiday; I spent mine discovering the Vampire Diaries.

Damon <3 Mmmmmm

Oh, and I saw this commercial about a million times on Christmas. With my family.

SAWEET!

Baby.

Poca: “Yes.”

See? We can get along just fine!

This is Cinderella, if you couldn’t deduce from the title.

I don’t remember her favorites/traits/bullshit. Don’t ask me.

Drizella is celebrating this momentous occasion by drowning her sorrows in pizza.

Fat fat fatty fat fat.

John got a makeover to look more like John SMITH. John Rolfe = pansy.

Pocahontas 2 does not exist. Argue otherwise and I will cut you.

Bri: “I’m so glad I’m around to meet my great-grandchild! I can’t wait until the other ones come around, never mind the fact that I’m taking up precious space. :D”

Dis bitch.

Needs to die.

John: “Hey, Poca, I like your new outfit; Do you like mine? :D”

Poca: “No.”

Hey! I put it together.

Poca: “I know.”

Damn.

Tweedledee/dum: “DAMN. That is one sexy-ass telescope. can i hav yo numba?

Please refrain from humping it in front of my guests.

Phillip has to throw these stupid campaign parties since he is Ruler of Simtopia, or whatever, to keep up his facade image of respecatibility.

Obviously, incestuous siblings were the first ones on his list.

This asshole wasn’t invited, though.

Eilonwy: “My husband just died and I need someone to make me feel better with consoling sex; Preferably a rich somebody.”

Heartless gold-digging bitch.

Baldy: “Get some.”

And of course, it isn’t a party until a woman goes into labor.

Eilonwy: “I’m going to steal her baby and hold it for ransom!”

No, you’re not.

o hai – Esmeralda is in normal clothing… At a pool party. Go figure.

Poca: “I thought we disowned her.”

Nothing’s that easy, I’m afraid.

Eilonwy: “Please, continue bashing me right in front of my face. I’m not yet done reading this book, Kicking Ass Like a Boss, yet.”

Baby on floor

+

Crazy great-aunt

=

A pissed-off Pocahontas.

Poca: “I don’t fucking care if lollipops are your favorite candy! Get the hell out of my house before I rip your heart out and throw it in the lake for the giant squid to munch on!”

And Eilonwy never crashed a party ever again. :)

omg.

Bri: “OHSHI-“

Bri: “You made this happen!”

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Bri: “You used Twallan’s Master Controller to trigger my death!”

Lies.

Death: “Brianna Liddell, your time is up! About fucking time.”

Bri: “No! Please! I’ve only been alive for 297439281 days!”

Only.

Death: “Do yourself a favor and get up. The desperate look makes you look fat.”

Phillip: D:

Poca: D:

Aurora: :(

John: :(

RIP Generation 2: About Fucking Time

Phillip: “MY MOM JUST DIED BUT MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS GROWING UP, SO IT’S OKAY.”

They cancel each other out, yes?

Dear God.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier.

Despite her ugly mug, Cinderella is the cutest wittle shit in the world.

Poca: “Put that drumstick on this red one here and hit it.”

Cinderella: “I know a better place to put this thing.”

So precious.

Herc: “Show me your tits.”

Aurora: “Kay, but it’ll cost ya.”

Phillip: :D ?

what i don’t even

EGYPT!

Poca: “Random pictures are random.”

it r fact

Yes. I finally made it to these pictures.

About fucking time.

That seems to be this chapter’s mantra.

Pocahontas can’t quite believe it herself.

Poca: “Killed, gutted, and skinned him all by myself.”

Impressive.

Poca: “Yup, my daddy taught me good.”

Poca: “This rock is shaped like a moon and that stone slab has a moon indentation… They must fit together!”

I see toddler blocks have taught you well, young grasshopper.

Poca: “All I see are old pieces of junk and dead bodies, where is Genie?”

Chilling in Agrabah with Aladdin.

Poca: “But I need to rub his lamp!”

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

I didn’t really take a bunch of pictures of Pocahontas pillaging tombs because it’s a bunch of the same stuff over and over again, but here’s a montage anyway! Play this while looking. Totally stole it from Trish, but so what? IT’S PERFECT!:

This guy also pretended to cry in order to get a face full of Poca’s bewbs.

Goddamn foreign perverts.

Pocahontas also brought back a bunch of junk that we don’t need. Like this mummy-bear-thing.

Cindy: *hugs*

Okay, maybe we do need it for adorable toddler spam.

Drizella. Go home.

Driz: “Fuck you, I’m a dragon!”

Is it just me, or is Phillip always the only one at these fucking things?

Phillip: “I’M SO EXCITED MY HEART’S GOING TO FALL OUT OF MY BUTT”

I dun mean to b rude, bu’ the back of yo head is ridikulus.

Damn you, you sexy dick.

Oh, and Driz is ugly. I figured I’d spare you.

For now.

Herc: “Driz, you manipulative bitch, take your fat ass and park it somewhere far far away. Preferably at the bottom of a hole. Under a rock.”

Man-Slave Maid: “ohgod D:”

Driz: “I don’t understand! What did I do?”

Herc: “You… You…”

Herc: “YOU USED THE LAST OF THE TOILET PAPER AND DIDN’T REFILL”

I approve of this ass-kickery.

And so, Drizella took her ugly-ass self and went to have babies with Sebastian. Who would have guessed?

Oh, but she stopped and fixed her mood before she left. The bitch.

I don’t know what this is. I keep wanting to call it kryptonite. lol

That’s not it though. herp derp

OOOOH! :D

Poca: “Is it just me, or did it get bigger?”

… That’s what she said.

Poca: “Your simself obviously didn’t get the ‘Original’ trait.”

Your wit is self-serving.

PAYBACK’S A BITCH.

Next: Hakuna Matata

—————————————————————-

BLERGGGGGGGH SHITTY CHAPTER IS SHITTY

But guess what? WE’RE ALMOST THERE!

Where is there? ‘There’ is the point at which we finally catch up to where I am in-game.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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2 Comments »

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  1. Loved this update! ‘Can i hav yo numba?’ was the best thing i’ve seen all year. Nearly. Well it makes top…fifty. You should have made drizella stay and collect ugly babies from her! Im sure she’s uglier than cinderlla! Have you sold the glowing green thing in-game? cos it should be worth about…15000 simoleans. I love the stuff.

    • I would have, but she wasn’t party of the bloodline. D:

      No, I have not sold it. I actually read somewhere that if you put it outside on your lawn, more will grow. However, that hasn’t actually happened yet so I’m getting skeptical.


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