Ch. 12: Painting the Roses Red

March 25, 2010 at 3:36 pm | Posted in Generation 3 | 12 Comments

Previous: Once Upon A Dream

HA! I TOLD YOU I’D UPDATE SOON!

So hello, and welcome back.

Ciao. Hola. Konnichiwa. Hallo. Bonjour. Ni hao. Salve… And that’s about all I know.

OK LET’S GO

Alice: “Last time Brianna was in labor, but we didn’t show you what she had! IT WAS MY IDEA… Ha… HA HA”

Bri: “mmmm… bb.”

I apologize for being an ass and not showing any pics of Bri’s 2nd pregnancy… I forgot to take them. D:

Anyways, I introduce to you little Eilonwy Liddell. Eilonwy is one of the main characters from the movie The Black Cauldron, AND SHE IS A PRINCESS EVEN THOUGH SHE IS NOT INCLUDED IN THE OFFICIAL PRINCESS CULT.

… I apologize. It’s a touchy subject for me. :(

Tweedledee: “This isn’t right.”

And neither is this.

Alice: “What the f-“

Tweedledum: “HOW DO YOU DO AND SHAKE HANDS”

Alice: “I just wanted a sammich D:”

I redesigned the house… again, just in case you didn’t gather that from these here pictures.

Phillip: “Hmph. Screw everyone in this house. If they won’t pay attention to ME, then I’ll just live in my toy chest.”

Phillip: “…”

Phillip: “Do they miss me yet?”

I don’t know, why don’t we go check?

Reg: “Oh, Alice. You realize that this is the first time that we’ve been alone in a while? How about we, say, have some fun?”

Alice: “You mean like breaking into the Louvre and stealing all of it’s riches? I AM SO IN”

Reg: “Er… That’s not exactly what I had in mi-“

Phillip: “I HATE EVERYONE”

Phillip: “This is better :D”

Phillip grew up and became even more annoying by becoming a slob… Who apparently rather enjoys taking out the trash.

Phillip: “Taking out the trash is a man’s job, and I am the manliest man of all men. Not only do I escape from dungeons and battle evil fairies/dragons, I have a horse. And his name is fucking SAMPSON”

You heard it, ladies. Eat your heart out, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Phillip: “Grandpa! Stop upgrading the TV! You’re making me miss the part where Sleeping Beauty pricks her finger on the spinning wheel. D:”

Reg: “Fuck you, I do what I want.”

Bri: “I’M TIRED”

Phillip: “MOM! TELL GRANDPA TO STOP BLOCKING THE TV””

Reg: “I CAN NEVER GET ANY APPRECIATION AROUND HERE”

Alice: “THANKS FOR CUTTING MY HEAD OFF IN THIS PICTURE, BITCH”

Oh, those Liddells. You either hate ’em or… Nope. No, that’s pretty much it.

Speaking of Liddells… Remember this one? It’s Eilonwy’s birthday, woohoo!

Bri: “I’M SO EXCITIED”

In the case that I didn’t tell you what Eilonwy’s traits are (and I probably didn’t), she is an evil coward.

Eilonwy: “Why are this sparkles esploding from me? This shouldn’t be happening! DO NOT WANT”

Also, Alice made it to the top of the criminal career, thus fulfilling her LTW of becoming a Master Thief.

Alice: “Hot damn. I am so awesome, right Mr. Fox?”

Mr. Fox: “…”

Alice: “I’m so great that he’s speechless in my presence.”

Or he’s an inanimate object and can’t talk, let alone do anything.

Alice: “You have a horrible way of ruining EVERYTHING”

You’re not the first to tell me that.

Look who Phillip brought home today from school! I must say Phillip, you have an AWFUL taste in girls.

SCORE!

Watermelon Girl: “Somebody’s gonna die today.”

Watermelon Girl: “And then he was like, ‘That’s not the toilet, that’s my grandma! HAHAHAHA”

Phillip: “Heh… yeah… You’re so funny… *whispers* Why is she here, again?”

Because you invited her home from school, that’s why.

Phillip: “I didn’t invite her home, she followed me.”

Stop talking about our… *ahem*, lovely guest like that, young man. Show some manners.

Watermelon Girl: “:D”

I think I see a resemblance.

Alice: “Let me tell you a story, Eilonwy. One day you’ll grow old, and then you’ll die. It happens to everyone. Except for me. Because I’m awesome.”

Eilonwy: “You need to lay off the shrooms, G’ma.”

Eilonwy: “OMNOMNOM”

Eilonwy, what are you doing?

Eilonwy: “Biting off Taran’s head because he made Gurgi sacrifice his life to save his own! The stupid bastard.”

LaShawn: “Hey, could you do a bro a favor and let me move in with you? Those legacy fellas are torturing me to no end! They are making me dress in ladies lingerie and do all sorts of shit while answering to the question ‘who’s your daddy?'”

Random Guy: “Yeah… Um, I suddenly just invited 7 people to move in with me, sorry. 8 people in this household, no room. Nope.”

LaShawn: “D:”

LaShawn: “Well then. I’ll just get a job. Let’s hope they demand 24 hours.”

Hmph. Fine. Begone to thou who is ungrateful. We have already gotten your ugly genes! WE DON’T NEED YOU

BTW, LaShawn achieved his LTW of Golden Tongue, Golden Fingers… just thought I’d let you know…

Reg was going all stir-crazy ’cause all he does is sit on his lazy ass every day since he retired, so I sent him to the park.

But look at what we have here! Don’t be deceived, strikes happen all the time in my game, but usually my sims are at work or something and they can’t join! I’M SO EXCITED

Angry Townspeople: “DAMN THOSE LOCH NESS MONSTERS TO HELL”

Phillip: “BOOM HEADSHOT! I am TOTALLY wiping the floor with your ass, Grandma. Your Halo skillz are as good as last weeks garbage!”

Alice: “Watch it, boy. I’ve got connections with a certain blue monster who eats little boys for dinner.”

Phillip: “When you die I am throwing yellow smiley faces all over your grave, bitch.”

LaShawn: “Phillip, please not at the dinner table.”

Phillip: “Don’t worry about it, Dad. Look over my shoulder and tell me if Grandma’s looking. She hates it when I do this.”

Eilonwy: “I AM GLITCHED”

Eilonwy: “nvm. i r cute nao :)”

Reg: “hai, bb. Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re HOT!”

Alice: “ooo, you’re so suave

Please, just… just stop.

WOOHOO DOUBLE BIRTHDAIZZZZZZZ

LaShawn: “Must… resist… birthday celebration animation… Must not… be… happy…”

Reg: “Hey, Alice! Come over here and toot your horn with us!”

Alice: “I refuse to celebrate his birthday.”

Phillip: “Eh? Eh? How sexy am I?”

Reg: “You’re… older than you were… yeah…”

Alice: “LOL awkward teenager”

Phillip rolled the trait charismatic… This is oddly fitting.

And then Brianna grew into an adult, so she looks exactly the same as before.

Alice: “Hmph. Phillip thinks he boss me around just because he’s better at Halo than I am? Well, I’ll show him… I’ll turn him into a flea… and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives… I’LL SMASH IT WIF A HAMMAH!

Alice: “Phillip… Phil… Philly-Bo-Billy… I just wanted to say that I apologize for threatening to feed you to the Loch Ness Monster before. I admit that I was a sore loser. You totally deserved to win king of the hill on Halo XBOX Live. Good job.”

Phillip: “I’m glad that we see eye-to-eye now, Grandma. I guess I’ll spare your life now when I become king.”

Alice: “kthxbai”

Alice: “Mwahahaha… He’ll never see it coming. In the meantime…”

Alice: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR”

Repairwoman: “OMGHOLYSHITWTF”

Woohoo! Look at this nifty… thing.

I just watched Spongebob, and now the Campfire Song Song is stuck in my head. SO I BOUGHT ONE

And yes, Reg is cooking salmon on the campfire… Natural Cook sims… pffffftttt

Eilonwy’s birthday… Yeah, in case you couldn’t tell.

Eilonwy: “WTF? AGAIN WITH THE SPARKLES. I’M NOT FUCKING TINKER BELL”

Eilonwy grew up and acquired the grumpy trait.

Eilonwy: “I’m an evil bitch and I hate everything.”

Hm. Sounds like me.

Yep… again.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME. I SWEAR (no I don’t.)

Look! Watermelon Girl grew up and decided to visit us in our new house!

Watermelon Girl: “This house SUCKS”

D:

My life has suddenly become more awful.

Gracey: “Hey, everyone. Long time, no see. Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna raid the fridge.”

Gracey: “Wtf? Why is there an IV bag filled with blood in here?”

Alice: “Don’t worry about it.”

Watermelon Girl: “*Pukes* Ghosts SUCK”

Alice: “Huh… I feel very light this morning. I guess working out at the gym DID pay off!”

Alice: “Woah… I didn’t mean light as in transparent. What the fuck is going on?!”

Grimmy: “Alice Liddell! You stood me up on our date! NOW YOU MUST PAY”

Alice: “Oh shit. I’m peacing. It really isn’t my time to go. Later, Grimmy.”

Grimmy: “Do you have a death flower for me?”

Alice: “Uh, no.”

Grimmy: “ok, then. It’s Hell for you, Grandma. *CLONK*”

And there you have it, guys. Our founder is gone…

OR IS SHE?

WAIT. WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? Well, you’ll find out next time.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I FUCKING LOVE CAPSLOCK

Next: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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12 Comments »

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  1. let me just say that this is one of the most entertaining legacies i’ve read.
    aaaaaaaaaaand i love your use of swear words as random nouns, verbs and adjectives. :D
    so if dumb bitches don’t like it, fuck ’em. (:
    kbye.

  2. I LOVE CAPS LOCK TOO! IT’S INTIMIDATING AND SO SO IS YOUR LEGACY ITS THAT AWESOME.

  3. Well, from the second I saw “Classic Disney Movies” I was intrigued. Then I saw “When Curiosity Met Insanity” and “bri-chan” and I was hooked. Now we have the fact you used the name Eilonway, which is one of my favorit childhood movies AND NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT. EXCEPT FOR YOU.

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is an awesomesauce legacy.

  4. “I AM GLITCHED” – that glitch never fails to crack me up! I literally burst out laughing when I saw it! Keep up the great work!

  5. OH NO THE FOUNDER IS DEAD – that is always sad. Eilonwy’s glitch was sooo funny. I love it when the game does that. Cant wait for next update x

  6. This is so funny!

    • Thank you!

  7. Your legacy is amazingly funny! I’m hooked and can’t wait to read more. If you don’t mind I’m going to put a link to your legacy at my own. More people need to read this!!!

    • Thank you very much! And no, of course I don’t mind. :)

  8. “…I’ll turn him into a flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, I’LL SMASH IT WIF A HAMMAH!!”
    lol emperor’s new groove reference?

    • Yup! That’s one of my favorite parts, and I just had to include it. :)

  9. girl from last time, i mentioned alice in the country of hearts..? ok now what i was getting to.i can name the characters if you want, and feel free to use them.if you have a deviantArt acc, then look for ruby99999777.


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