Ch. 11: Once Upon A DreamMarch 14, 2010 at 9:44 am | Posted in Generation 3 | 9 Comments
Previous: All in the Golden Afternoon
WOOHOOOO TWO MONTHS WITHOUT AN UPDATE. GO ME!
I am well aware that 2 months = 8 weeks and 8 weeks = 60 days and 60 days = Way too fucking long. (That’s what she said.) BUT I HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE!
*WARNING: IF YOU DON’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE, JUST SKIP THIS SECTION AND CONTINUE READING THE STORY*
Okay, so, like a week after the beginning of January, I began to feel this sharp pain in my lower back along my spine. So, naturally, whenever something hurts, you want to touch it, and, as a result, make it hurt even more. But when I felt where the pain was coming from, there was a lump there, and when I looked at it in the mirror, I noticed that it was all red and inflamed. Of course, growing up with my mother, the first thing I think is “OMGTUMOR,” so I went to the doctors to have them check it out. It turns out it was a cyst, so they gave me these antibiotics to get rid of the infection. Unfortunately, while the antibiotics have helped a lot and the redness and size of the cyst have both decreased, the cyst is still there, so I have to get surgery done on March 22 to get it removed. However, that means a week of doing nothing and sleeping in until 12! Hurrayyyyy!
So, yeah, that’s my excuse.
OKAY, BRIANNA HAD A BABY
And it’s a blue caterpillar.
This is Phillip Liddell – Named after the kick-ass prince from Sleeping Beauty.
His traits are easily-impressed and perfectionist, but I’m thinking that those are code for insane and neurotic. Hence the eye twitch.
Phillip: “I… sense… a… LEGACY”
Captain Obvious strikes again.
And, naturally, when something monumental happens in the Liddell household, someone else has to one-up it.
Reg: “UGGHH OLD PEOPLE”
Nice ensemble you have going there, Reg.
Now haul ass to the dresser.
Reg: “This outfit again? I was hoping to try out Depp!Hatter sometime.”
Yeah, I know, and I would have totally made you rock the transvestite look had Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland come out, like, eight months ago.
Oh hai, remember Alice?
Yeah, neither to I.
Alice has become so boring lately that she just blends in with the walls… literally.
La Shawn: “Oh, reflection, I feel like you’re the only person I can talk to in this house. Whenever I try to express my feelings in song, everyone tells me to grow some balls. Phillip even cried once when I tried to serenade him to sleep. I just wanna love.”
I think you are being misled, La Shawn. I don’t think it’s your lack of manhood that everyone is crying about, but your horrendous singing.
In the words of Simon Cowell, “That was terrible, I mean just awful.”
Brianna has also become quite the antisocial-type. She types away at her computer all the time to achieve her Lifetime Wish of Illustrious Author (the capital letters means it’s important).
Personally, I think she’s looking up naughty pictures of pokemon to satisfy her anime infatuation.
OMG. YES. IT’S GRACEY’S BIRTHDAY.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
IT MEANS THAT HE IS TURNING INTO A YOUNG ADULT.
AND THAT MEANS THAT HE IS GOING TO MOVE OUT.
AND THAT MEANS THAT WE NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN.
Gracey: “I’m glad that my family loves me.”
Hey Gracey, before you leave, can you tell me one thing?
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
HAHAHAHA, HASTA LA VISTA, ASSHOLE.
Meanwhile, La Shawn has finally found someone that will be forced to sit through listen to his performances.
La Shawn: “This one goes out to you, Tweedle-Dee! Ahem *Totally off key* Tweedle-Dee, oh Tweedle-Dee… Silly boy. Gee, what a real swell gnome…”
Tweedle-Dee: “I’m going to need to visit the Blue Caterpillar and his hookah after this.”
Alice: “ugggghhh what am I doing with my life uggghh I don’t even know uggghhh”
How about you go take care of your grandson?
Alice: “… Nope. No. uggggghhhhh…”
*Grumbles* … pain in the ass… *grumble grumble*… no help… *more grumbles*… zombie…
Reg: “WATCH THIS!”
Reg: “AHA! SUCCESS!”
Thanks for the show, Reg, but I’d rather stick with the conventional way of flipping my grilled cheese.
Bri: “I really have to pee right now, but I just wanted to say that you have the most beautiful nose hairs I’ve ever seen.”
Oh, those hopeless romantic sims, creeping the hell out sims since 2009.
I’m not even going to say anything.
But here, look as this picture. Just fucking look at it.
Remember that blue caterpillar that Brianna retrieved from the Light?
Well, it’s his birthday, and little Phillip has already shown a knack for fighting by punching a fist through his mother’s stomach.
Bri: “And there goes my pancreas.”
Phillip is undoubtedly the most annoying little brat cutest wittle bundle of joy I have EVER SEEN.
Phillip: “wahhhh feed me waaahhh change my diaper waaaaaahhhhhhhh look at meeeeeeee”
Bri: “Oh hey, Gracey. Long time, no see. What have you been up to?”
Gracey: “Oh, um… Nothing really. You know, just playing xbox in my basement.”
Bri: “Oh, well, speaking of games have you seen the trailer for the new expansion pack Sims 3: Ambitions?”
Gracey: “Ah, no, I hav-“
Bri: “WELL IT’S AWESOME. I AM SO. FREAKING. EXCITED. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. WE GET TO HAVE KICK-ASS JOBS LIKE FIREFIGHTERS, DETECTIVES, GHOSTBUSTERS-“
Gracey: “… Ghostbusters?”
Bri: “Yeah! That’s my favorite. I’m totally going to be one! I can’t wait to see the look on Danny Phantom’s face when I have him cornered. And then I’m going to be like ‘EAT PROTONS, BITCH!'”
Gracey: “Heh… yeah…”
Alice: “Say ‘trophy’.”
Alice: “Arg! No! How many times do I have to say it?! When I say ‘trophy’ you say ‘Mona Lisa‘, got it?”
Hm. Maybe I should have kept Alice and Phillip on opposite sides of Wonderland, after all…
Phillip: “Excuse me for interrupting, but don’t understand why it is so hard for Westley to escape from the torture chamber. I mean, if I were him, I would get three good fairies to release me, and then I would fight Prince Humperdinick after he turns into a fire-breathing dragon, kill him, and save Buttercup from an everlasting slumber by kissing her.”
Alice: “WOAH! I’ll just totally ignore your mutant transformation a second ago and tell you that this is fucking The Princess Bride not Sleeping Beauty. There are no three good fairies or fire-breathing dragons. Get your goddamn princess movies straight.”
So I was La Shawns birthday, and I totally forgot.
But he just turned into an adult and looks exactly the same, so it doesn’t matter that he didn’t get a cake or an audience.
So here is Brianna, regurgitating her insides and eating watermelons…
And here she is giving birth.
La Shawn: “I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ANYMORE”
Welcome to the Liddell Legacy, La Shawn. Wel-fucking-come.
Stay tuned to find out what Bri has!
HA! I’M SUCH AN ASS
I’ll try to update very soon. TRY. So don’t yell at me if I don’t because I never promised. D:
Anyways, HAPPY PI DAY, EVERYONE.
HERE HAVE A… um…
Hurrrr c wat i did thur
Next: Painting the Roses Red