Ch. 10: All in the Golden Afternoon

December 31, 2009 at 3:47 pm | Posted in Generation 2 | 6 Comments

Previous: Poor Unfortunate Souls

I’d like to start this chapter by mentioning some things that I noticed from reading other legacy stories.

  1. That they aren’t as funny as me (jklol… no srsly)
  2. 99.9% of the time, the baby-daddy is Mr. I-Love-Fishing-So-Much-That-I’d-Marry-It-If-I-Could Christopher Steel
  3. And that the annoying as hell lovely sims always refer to the author as “Master”, “Lady”, or “That Voice Inside My Head That No One Else Can Hear (I swear I’m not crazy)”

I really only wrote out this shit-list because I wanted to discuss the third point – My sims don’t dote me with terms of endearment or even call me “Master” to show superiority. No, instead they call me “Bitch”, which is really short for “That Bitch Who Won’t Shut The Fuck Up”.

Yeah, so anyways, last chapter Alice became old and Brianna decided that Alice was getting too much attention, so she decided to grow up too in order to steal the spotlight.

Bri: “birthdaiz, yaizies! Hey – Why isn’t Gracey here telling me how awesome I am?”

Brianna, don’t worry about him. He’s probably trying to make like his namesake and hang himself from the rafters.

Bri: “Oh, okay. Well, here I go! EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!”

No, everyone look at Alice in the background.

Alice: “gaiz, i luv burthdaizzzzz”

… I think Alice suffered from some massive brain damage when I wasn’t looking. Doing what, I have no fucking clue, but it’s apparent that she has become mentally retarded.

Alice, you’re drooling.

Much to my dismay, Bri is a MILF… Or at least she will be once she starts popping out ugly babies.

… I swear I like men.

ANYWAYS (I say that a lot, don’t I? I can’t help it! It’s, like, a universal transition. You can segue from absolutely ANY topic to another with it. For example – “Yeah, so we just looked at your CAT scan and you’re going to die in a week, ANYWAYS” or “Your baby is growing another head inside the womb and it will forever be deformed, ANYWAYS”… See? It’s awesome! All right, that was a long rant… back to what I was saying before.) Yeah… anyways, Bri and I have some business to take care of. That’s where she is going right now – To take care of said business. Can you guess where she is going?!

If you said that she went to the Children’s Hospital and drank the blood of an anemic baby who needed it, then you were… wrong, obviously.

No, she went to visit the man with the black-person name, LaShawn!

Is that racist? Sorry, but it was the first thing I thought of. Like, whenever I hear the name “Britney” I think of a spoiled bitch from Beverly Hills… And with Carlos I think of a Mexican hopping the border.

Don’t think negatively of me now, I DO try to get to know someone before I make an opinion of them, honestly. I grew up surrounded by Italians, I can’t help being a little stereotypical.

WOAH, TIME WARP.

Yeah, so now we’re at the Liddell’s… and they’re engaged.

Yay for plot holes!

Bri: “LaShawn, will you marry me? I promise that I will try my hardest to support you and our family even though I just splurged our whole bank account on this ring. I will also try really hard not to make fun of your dumb as fuck name.”

LaShawn: “omg yes, girl”

How romantic.

COME ON YOU GUYS! WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO LOSE!

Bri: “Hold on! We have to say our vows! I, Brianna Liddell, promise to-“

MAKE UGLY BABIES, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

I think now would be a good time to mention what LaShawn’s traits are.

He is a mean-spirited virtuoso who sleeps lightly at night because he is afraid that someone might stab him in the eye sockets since he is a loser.

Oh, and he is also a coward, that’s why he is on the floor right now. The sight of Gracey scared him shitless.

Gracey: “Did I do thaaaaaaaat?”

Yes, Urkel, now go back to plotting your… er… “death.”

Alice… what are you looking at? Helloooo? Anyone home in there?

Alice: *Sings* “In a world of my own… All the flowers would have very extra special powers, they would sit and talk to me for hours…”

Oh, uh, alright, then… O_o

Bri: “Dad… I have something to tell you… I’m pregnant!”

Reg: “You bought new sneakers? That’s great!”

Bri: “What? No, I said-“

Bri, don’t even try. When Alice was pregnant with you he thought you were a food baby. For all he knows you were handed to him off screen because, you know, that’s where babies come from in Disney movies.

Look what Alice found while doing a side job at work! I have never had a Mysterious Mr. Gnome before, but I have come to the conclusion that they are CREEPY AS HELL. He just pops up in the most random places and takes me off guard. I can’t help but feel that he is a murderous little creature. I keep thinking that one day he is just going to set fire to my house and kill all of my sims. D:

Anyways, I named him Tweedle Dee.

Yeah… I got bored again.

Blahblahblah, here’s the new house.

Now you know why the scene will look different in later pictures.

OKAY BACK TO THE SHOW

I really don’t know what to say as a caption to this picture, except that Gracey continues to be shunned by everyone.

Hahahahahahahaha

LaShawn: “Hewo der wittle baby. I’m your da da. Can you say ‘da da’?… Wait, I think it just said something!”

Bri: “Oh, no, sorry. I just farted.”

Woohoo! Generation 1 legacy portraits are completed, yeaaaaaaaaaah.

Bri: “AHHHHHHHHHHBABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”

Gracey: “AHHWTFFF?”

Bri: “Gracey?! What the hell are you doing here?! WHERE IN FUCK’S NAME IS MY HUSBAND?”

*Crickets*

Bri: “Dad? DO SOMETHING!”

Reg: “Don’t worry sweetheart, just take some tums and the gas bubbles will go away.”

Bri: “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, I DON’T HAVE INDIGESTION. I’M PREG- OH GOD, IT’S COMING”

Ahhh, God. And now I am blind. D:

WOOHOOO! CLIFFHANGERS, YEA!

—————–

First – Oh my goodness, I updated in a day? I’M FUCKING AWESOME.

Think of it as a New Years gift. :)

Also, if anyone is interested, I made a new page called “Downloads”. It should be a tab at the top of this page next to “About”. I plan to put some of my legacy sims on there for download sometime in the future, but right now the only thing there is my simself (which is also up for download if you are really interested.)

Happy New Years, everyone! And remember – You can learn a lot of things from the flowers. :)

Next: Once Upon A Dream

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6 Comments »

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  1. What a great way to end a year, laughing my ass off at vulgar sims. Nah I’m just playing i love that your sims swear, I get sick of how tweenified it can be because of the rated website…ANYWAYS… thanks for the update!!

  2. I’ve been reading your legacy and this is HILARIOUS!!!!

    P.S.- My dad’s name is Carlos… =D

  3. I love this blog! And you are basicly right about most legacies, but I luckly don’t read blogs with too much Christopher Steel. Isn’t it weird that Sunset Valley has a ton of redheads/gingered haired guys? Nothing againest them, but I want more different genetics. I enjoy the humor of it all :D

  4. It’s SO SAD to know that you’ve been off this Uglacy for some time…
    I’ll have to F5F5F5 on a daily basis…
    I WANTED MOAR!

    (I loved it all, btw.)

    • Thank you for all of your nice comments! I intend to update it sometime soon. I’ve just been really busy for like the last two months, but with the release of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, it has gotten me all excited, and I am determined to write more chapters!

      Thanks for reading! :)

  5. reminds me of alice in the country of hearts. its kinda the same thing as the newer movie but at the same time it isint. as an example, to alice the white rabbit is just a pervert who dragged her down a hole.Link to a pic of the cover: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WRRCcq4cJZE/TEWALnft_CI/AAAAAAAABeM/FpGLAffAE-c/s1600/1cover_1024_768_a.jpg


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