Ch. 9: Poor Unfortunate Souls

December 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm | Posted in Generation 2 | 1 Comment

Previous: In A World of My Own…

Hey, guys. Whats up?

Nothing? … That’s… what it is like here.

I don’t know if any of you watch the news/weather channel, but the northeast of the United States (where I live) was recently (as in, like, two weeks ago) hit hard by a ginormous blizzard. We got 30 fucking inches of snow in 24 hours! WHAT THE HELL?

So, yeah. Now I am trapped inside of my house and I can’t go anywhere/do anything. It sucks more than a hooker with a vacuum.

UGH, ANYWAYS – Remember that bonus chapter I mentioned at the end of last chapter? Yeah, I don’t know if that’s even going to happen… I’M SORRY. I HAVE OTHER MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WRITE.

For instance, this legacy. I should probably be working my ass off writing these chapters since I’m already on generation 4 in-game…

BUT GUESS WHO DOESN’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT? :D

Okay, let’s get back to this hell-hole:

So if you didn’t remember from last chapter, Dick broke-up with Brianna because she told him that she sleeps with Gracey… which is true, just not in the way Dick thinks.

And it’s perfectly fine with me. You know, the whole breaking-up thing because I already know Bri is going to marry LaShawn… But she wasn’t having any of it.

Bri: “I’m stalking you because I love you.”

Reg and Alice still got it on…

And it’s disgusting.

GET A ROOM, YOU GUYS

Alice: “We ARE in a room, you dipshit.”

Oh, well… just stop then.

Aaaaand Alice got another promotion. Normally I don’t include promotion pictures because they’re, um, boring as shit.

BUT I included this one because doesn’t she look kick-ass in her new uniform? I think her face adds to the whole effect.

Alice: “I will break into all of your houses and steal all of your silverwear, hahahahahaha!”

O_o

Alice: “I AM SO. FUCKING. TIRED.”

Clean up your dish first.

Alice: “BUT I SAID-“

I’m not deaf! Now clean up your goddamn dish, woman!

Alice: “*Grumbles*…. I’ll get revenge… *grumbles*”

You bitch.

Gracey’s birthday was the next day, or whatever.

Gracey: “I wish that someone would care for once!”

*Crickets*

Hahahahahahahahaha

And this is what Gracey looks like as a teenager.

Now we can go back to ignoring him.

I remodeled the house… again.

I can’t help it! The game gets boring sometimes, and I find that the only way to fix that is to remodel remodel remodel.

Change is good, yes?

No?

Screw you. :(

Yeah, so this is the inside. It’s boring, I know. Shut up.

HOW MANY THINGS CAN A PERSON SAY ABOUT A NEW HOUSE? D:

Alice: “OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGG THIS MUST HAVE COST A FORTUNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Yeah, Alice. It’d be best if you just didn’t ask. :)

What the…?

Gracey: “*GASPS FOR AIR* GodDAMMIT. WHY CAN’T I DO THIS?”

Uh… what exactly is “this”, Gracey?

Gracey: “I’m trying to kill myself.”

Kill yourself?

Gracey: “Oh my God, do I have to spell it out for you? I’m trying to kill myself, as in, I’m trying to put an end to my life.”

Life? What LIFE? YOU’RE A FUCKING GHOST.

Yeah, so Gracey has become really suicidal lately.

… Not that I care.

Or not that ANYONE cares, as a matter of fact.

It’s too bad he won’t be successful, since, you know, he’s ALREADY FUCKING DEAD.

Gracey: “Maybe if I got eaten by a zombie bear I wouldn’t have to deal with this crap anymore.”

Alice Hand 1: “Hullo, mister hand.”

Alice Hand 2: “Hullo thar. Hold on, I hav to mak a call.”

Alice Hand 1: “Who u gunna call?”

Alice Hand 2: “GHOSTBUSTERS!”

Not a bad idea…

*Evil stare* D:<

Alice: “HEY RHODAAAAAAA. WHATS UP MY MAIN SQUEEZE?”

Rhoda: “SUUP ALICE. YOU KNOW, JUS’ HANGIN’ ROUND THE HOOD, DAWG.”

Alice: “HERE WE GO – UP TOP, NOW DOWN, POUND IT, AROUND THE BACK, UNDER THE SEA, THROUGH THE WOODS, UP THE HILL, ABOVE THE CLOUDS, KICK THE BABY, AND DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE, DIZZLE MY NIZZLE. WHAAAAAAAAAAT”

Rhoda: “Heh… yeah… O_o”

Alice: “Yeah, so Rhoda. Now that our relationship bar is all green and we’re BFFFFFs, I think you should give me a promotion, ’cause, you know, I’m fucking awesome.”

Rhoda: “HAH! ME GIVE YOU A PROMOTION? Ya. I’d rather eat this dirt so conveniently placed in my pocket… As a matter of fact, I think I will.”

Alice: “*Grumbles under breath* You will pay…”

BAM MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAA

Rhoda: “HOLY HELL. THAT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE BLADDER… CRAP. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT THOSE DEPENDS.”

Bitch. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT GIVING MY SIM A PROMOTION

Okay, so this is the moment in the game where I actually took the time to read up on the legacy rules.

And that was also the last time I will EVER read any legacy rules. Seriously, they make this stuff too confusing. Handicaps? Wtf is this shit? Really, all it should say is “Buy this lot, no cheats, see you in 10 generations.”

Also – look how shitty my house looks compared to all of the other ones. It looks like a sketchy drug lord’s house. xD

Gracey: “And then you hold the knife with it facing it towards you, and you ram it into your heart… That is, if one has a heart.”

Great, now Gracey is going all Tin Man on me.

Woohoo! Yay for legacy portraits!

Hahahaha, Alice looks like she has the skin of a guido.

Remember when I said that Reg reached it to the top of the Culinary Career?

Yeah, I lied. This is actually that moment.

I really don’t know what I am talking about most of the time. I just spew shit out and hope it’s right. :D

As a result of Reg reaching it to the top of the Culinary Career, we got this SUPER-MEGA-FOXY-AWESOME-HOT refrigerator that used to work like a charm, but currently (currently, as in, generation 5 in-game), it’s as good as any cheap-ass fridge that comes in buy mode because EA can’t seem to make an expansion pack/patch without having a million bugs in it. In this case – food in any refrigerator spoils in less than a fucking day. >:(

*I know that EA released a patch that fixes this, but I heard that after installation many people were losing custom content, and I just don’t think it’s worth it in the end.

We also got this teleportation pad that nobody uses. :D

Alice: “Oh, God. I’m turning into a vampire fairy.”

No, Alice. You’re just going through menopause.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Alice: “Bitch, I’ll cut you.”

I’d like to see you try, Grandma.

YES. FINALLY. IT’S BRIANNA’S BIRTHDAY

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

IT MEANS THAT GENERATION 3 IS GOING TO ARRIVE SOON

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

It’s too bad I’m ending the chapter here. Hahahahahahahaha :D

Next: All in the Golden Afternoon

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1 Comment »

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  1. Oh, I hate seeing Old Alice :(.


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